German heritage can be beautifully incorporated into your wedding celebrations, whether you’re a native German or an expat living abroad. The good news is that embracing these traditions can be a delightful and straightforward process if you know where to start. To help inspire your big day, we’ve compiled a comprehensive guide to traditional German wedding customs. This treasure trove of information covers everything from mouthwatering celebration foods to lively pre-wedding festivities and iconic dances. By incorporating elements of German culture into your wedding, you’ll add a unique touch that honors your heritage and creates unforgettable memories for you and your loved ones. From the symbolic rituals that bring couples closer together to the cultural nuances that make each celebration truly one-of-a-kind, our guide has got you covered. So, get ready to immerse yourself in the rich traditions of German weddings and embark on a joyous journey that celebrates love, family, and community.
A Summary of German Wedding Traditions
German weddings are steeped in tradition, with customs like Polterabend and Brautentführung playing a significant role. Each custom has its own unique history and cultural significance, which is why they have endured for so long. Interestingly, many of these traditions also serve as a means of warding off evil spirits and bad luck, adding an extra layer of depth to their enduring popularity.
Personalized Door-to-Door Invitation Delivery
In Germany, a quaint tradition surrounding wedding invitations has gained newfound charm thanks to internet culture. Not all regions observe this custom, with some countries still relying on emails or letters for invites. In those that do, the bride and groom’s closest friends might be asked to serve as private postmen or women, known as Hochzeitsladers. These honored guests don elaborate attire adorned with flowers and ribbons before knocking on doors to distribute invitations, reciting a humorous rhyme along the way. As they present each invitee with an invitation, they’ll also hand over a small gift – typically scrambled eggs, which can be easily prepared at short notice. If an attendee accepts the invitation, they’re rewarded with a vibrant ribbon from the Hochzeitslader’s robe and a celebratory drink shared with the soon-to-be-wed couple.
Marriage Party (Best Man and Maid of Honor)
In many cultures, it’s common to include multiple friends and loved ones in the bridal party, with numbers ranging from 10 to dozens of people. However, this tradition is less prevalent in Germany, where the focus tends to be on just one trusted individual for each partner. These individuals are appointed as trauzeuge or trauzeugin, responsible for planning and coordinating pre-wedding activities and serving as a helping hand on the big day. The unique twist lies in the fact that the bride and groom remain unaware of their trauzeuge or trauzeugin’s whereabouts, plans, or schedule, keeping the excitement and games a thrilling secret until the wedding day.
Bachelor and bachelorette parties
As the wedding date approaches, it’s traditional for the bride and groom to join in on pre-wedding celebrations with friends at a local tavern. The ritual, often referred to as Junggesellenabschied, typically involves a series of playful and sometimes humiliating activities designed to poke fun at the newlyweds-to-be. These may include tasks such as haggling with strangers over goods or services, donning outlandish attire, or even engaging in manual labor, all aimed at providing an unforgettable experience for those involved.
Polterabend
As the wedding day approaches, family and friends gather for a time-honored tradition: breaking china and porcelain to usher in good fortune for the newlyweds. This ritual, steeped in folklore, has its own set of rules. Legend has it that smaller shards signify a luckier union, while larger pieces can portend ill fate – including a catastrophic glass break that would seemingly seal a marriage’s downfall. In contrast, the chaos that follows this symbolic shattering serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of cooperation and teamwork in the bride and groom’s future together, as they work to build a life filled with love, trust, and harmony.
Sleeping Apart Before the Wedding
In a long-standing tradition, it’s considered inauspicious to spend the eve of the big day under the same roof as your intended spouse. This perceived curse has led many couples to take precautions by choosing alternative accommodations for one partner, often opting to stay with family members, close friends or other loved ones.
Hiding a Penny in the Bridal Shoes
As newlyweds prepare to take the leap into married life, a quirky German tradition has brides hiding a small but significant token – a penny – within their wedding shoes, known as brautschuh. This charming custom not only serves as a nod to good fortune but also embodies the cultural significance of starting one’s union with a dash of prosperity and good luck.
German Wedding Clothes
When attending international weddings, it’s not uncommon for guests to opt for traditional attire from their homeland. What’s more, in Germany, couples getting married typically wear an array of customary garments that are deeply rooted in local culture. In fact, the bride and groom often don a considerable collection of traditional clothing as part of the overall wedding experience.
Wedding Attire
In contrast to their predecessors, modern German brides have shed their traditional attire of long veils and black dresses. Instead, they opt for a more contemporary look, donning white wedding gowns without the elaborate trains often associated with these garments. While some German brides still choose to wear fingertip-length veils, this trend has declined significantly compared to earlier eras. Furthermore, the once ubiquitous practice of wearing veils has become less widespread, except in cases where the couple is opting for a religious ceremony. One constant, however, remains: the age-old tradition that prohibits the bride and groom from laying eyes on each other before their big day.
Wedding shoes
In Germany, it’s a cultural tradition for brides to wear Brautschuhe, also known as bridal shoes, which are typically white shoes with a low, wide heel. These shoes often feature a strap that crosses the ankle or top of the foot to secure them in place. While brides have many options when it comes to shoe styles, this traditional design remains a popular choice.A unique aspect of German wedding culture is the practice of auctioning off the bride’s shoes at the reception. The tradition dictates that the groom must make the highest bid and then return the shoes to his new wife as a symbol of their union. This custom is thought to have originated from the idea that a woman’s worth was measured by her ability to wear expensive shoes, so the groom’s bid serves as a declaration of his love and commitment.Meanwhile, German grooms tend to dress more formally for the occasion, often opting for an all-black suit and white shirt. This understated yet elegant approach allows them to showcase their personal style through accessories, such as cufflinks or a tie clip, giving them creative freedom to express themselves on their special day.
Bride and Bridal Parties
In Germany, a stark contrast emerges when comparing wedding party sizes to those in other countries. Rather than large entourages, couples often rely on just one trusted individual to assist with their wedding planning. This singular choice is viewed as a great honor, as the bride and groom entrust this person with significant responsibility. Interestingly, even the best man and maid of honor, who can be of any gender, are entrusted with vital duties, including organizing bachelor and bachelorette parties for the couple.
German Wedding Customs
Marriages across the globe often come with unique traditions and customs that set them apart from one another. Take Germany, for instance, where couples may opt for a straightforward civil ceremony at a Standesamt, which takes place a few days or weeks prior to a more elaborate religious wedding. This contrasts sharply with the traditional approach in many American weddings, where the focus is on a single, grand ceremony. Despite these differences, German and American marriages share some commonalities. One notable aspect of a typical German wedding is the couple’s simultaneous entry into the church, which helps ensure a smooth and uninterrupted proceedings. To achieve this, the pair often walks closely together, with their unity serving as a beacon throughout the ceremony. In addition to this custom, other unique elements can be found in a traditional German wedding, such as [insert additional customs here].
Rings for Marriage
In many parts of the world, engagement rings are typically worn on the left hand. However, in Germany, the custom is slightly different. The tradition holds that after the wedding ceremony, each partner’s ring is then swapped to the right hand. Some historians believe that this unique practice may have originated with the ancient Romans, who viewed the right hand as a symbol of fidelity and trust.
White Bouquet & Ribbon
As German brides exchange vows, a cherished tradition unfolds. The bride typically carries a bouquet secured with a pristine white ribbon, often bestowed by her betrothed. This poignant gesture not only symbolizes love but also serves as a meaningful keepsake for the couple. Following the ceremony, guests are entrusted with fragments of this same ribbon, which they then adorn to vehicle antennae, creating a stunning and sentimental display. As the wedding celebration relocates to its new venue, the procession is marked by a joyful cacophony of horns, as loved ones make their way to the reception site.
Hochzeitskerze
In German culture, the Hochzeitskerze, or wedding candle, plays a significant role in the marriage ceremony. The tradition begins when the bride’s mother or godmother gifts her a candle before the big day. Together, the couple lights this symbol of unity during the church service, solidifying their commitment to one another. The significance of this ritual extends beyond the ceremony itself. The couple will carefully extinguish the flame and preserve it as a reminder of their vows, using it to rekindle their love and strengthen their bond on special occasions, such as anniversaries or during times of reconciliation after a disagreement.
German Traditions at the Reception
While many couples choose to stick with traditional wedding customs, there are some fascinating German wedding reception traditions that could add a unique touch to your special day. From the delightful to the downright quirky, here are a few of the more unexpected customs you might consider incorporating into your celebration.
Taking the Log Down
As the newlywed couple emerges from their wedding ceremony, they’re presented with an opportunity to demonstrate their teamwork and commitment to each other. In many cultures, it’s customary for the happy couple to split a wooden log in half, a symbolic act that signifies their ability to work together towards common goals. This age-old tradition serves as a reminder that cooperation is essential for achieving success, whether in personal or professional relationships.
Bride-kidnapping or brautentführung
One of the most entertaining and longstanding German wedding traditions is the ‘Brautentführung’, or bride’s kidnapping. This playful ruse has been a part of wedding celebrations for centuries. The best man, donning the role of kidnapper, swoops in to ‘steal’ the bride shortly after the ceremony. The newlyweds then embark on a night of revelry, often accompanied by the groom’s friends. As the groom searches high and low for his missing bride, he ultimately bears the responsibility of footing the bill for everyone’s expenses.
Car Honking
As the ceremony comes to a close, a meaningful tradition unfolds – each guest receives a white ribbon to adorn their vehicle upon departing. This subtle yet significant symbol serves as an identifier, announcing their participation in the joyous celebration.
In a delightful display of community and camaraderie, the guests’ vehicles will begin to honk their horns in unison, creating a symphony of sound that echoes through the streets. As they make their way to the wedding party’s location, this infectious series of honks will spread awareness of the newlywed couple, sharing the joy with all who hear it.
Trachtenhochzeit und Buuredanz
As an authentic representation of rural weddings, the bride, groom, and their guests don traditional attire, often in local Trachten costumes, which remain a staple today. The celebration unfolds around long wooden tables and benches, where the community gathers to feast and make merry.
The merriment doesn’t stop there – the whole village comes together to dance in circles around the newlyweds, accompanied by lively rhythms played on drums. It’s not uncommon for neighbors from nearby villages to join in, sharing in the revelry with feasting, drinking, and performances that showcase local talent.
As part of these festivities, members of the Schützenverein hunting club might even salute the newlyweds with a symbolic gun salute, further solidifying the bonds between friends, family, and community.
Der Hochzeitsbecher (the bridal chalice)
In an ancient tradition that symbolizes the harmony and unity of the couple, the bride and groom simultaneously raise two cups filled with wine to their lips. As they savor the liquid, the key is not to spill a single drop, conveying a message of good fortune and auspicious beginnings for the newlyweds.
Wedding Dances in Germany
At a typical German wedding, the ceremonial dances are a highlight of the evening’s festivities. The first dance is usually a waltz, performed by the newlywed couple, setting the tone for a romantic and joyful celebration. As the night unfolds, tradition dictates that the bride then takes to the floor with the groom’s mother and father, respectively, in a beautiful display of family unity and love. And yet, it’s these formalities that give way to the real excitement – the unbridled joy and revelry that follows as the guests take to the dance floor, eager to join in on the merriment.
Vacant Dance
In Germany, the traditional veil dance, or Schleiertanz, serves as an alternative to the classic bouquet toss. As the newlyweds sway beneath the shredded remains of the bride’s veil, single female guests tear away at the delicate fabric, each hoping to claim the largest piece and thereby secure their own future wedding. This custom is steeped in tradition, with the largest piece believed to be a harbinger of the next union to take place. For those seeking to participate in this unique ritual without compromising the integrity of the veil, consider substituting a cloth of similar texture and material for a symbolic yet damage-free experience.
Cutting the Cake
In many wedding celebrations, the cutting of the wedding cake serves as a symbol of unity, cooperation, and joy. Interestingly, this custom is not unique to any particular culture or region. Germans, for instance, share similar traditions with others. The cake-cutting ceremony typically takes place around midnight, after which the bride and groom engage in a playful competition to determine whose hand will be on top of the knife. The winner earns the distinction of being referred to as the ‘head’ of the marriage! This lighthearted game sparks varying reactions from couples, with some individuals believing that the person whose hand is on top during the priest’s blessing holds the advantage. Others may choose to demonstrate strength and assertiveness through subtle gestures, such as having the bride stoop while the groom walks on her dress, only for her to stand up and softly stomp on his foot. The newlyweds also often share a toast at their reception while savoring traditional German delicacies like bratwursts. In another delightful tradition, ‘Who Rules the Nest,’ the couple participates in a drinking game where both partners simultaneously drink from a cup. The first one to finish their drink claims leadership of the nest!
German Wedding Cuisine
Indulge in the rich cultural heritage of Germany by savoring the country’s delectable cuisine. Hearty soups and decadent desserts are just a few examples of the exceptional culinary delights that await you.
Hochzeitssuppe
In the midst of celebrating love and commitment, it’s not uncommon for a warm, comforting bowl of Hochzeitssuppe to become the star of the show at a German wedding reception. This delectable ‘wedding soup’ is more than just a tasty addition to the menu – it’s a beloved tradition that brings the newlyweds and their guests together in shared delight. With its rich chicken broth, perfectly cooked noodles, an assortment of vibrant vegetables, tender chicken, and bite-sized meatballs, Hochzeitssuppe is sure to please even the most discerning palates. As the happy couple and their loved ones gather around the table to savor this iconic German soup, it’s a moment that will be cherished for years to come.
Baumkuchen
While considering dessert options, why not opt for the quintessential German treat, baumkuchen? This beloved layer cake strikes a perfect balance between sweet and subtle, with undertones of vanilla and almond. Also known as a spit cake, it’s a versatile dessert that can be further enhanced by incorporating other flavors and ingredients, such as rich chocolate, warm rum, or soothing honey.
Hochzeitsnudeln
Hochzeitsnudeln, meaning ‘wedding noodles’ in German, is a simple yet flavorful dish that’s often served at weddings and festive gatherings as a side dish. This high-quality German pasta is surprisingly easy to make with just the right balance of ingredients. In fact, you might even find it incorporated into Hochzeitsuppe, a hearty soup also traditionally served at German celebrations. The recipe typically involves combining eggs, oil, and semolina flour to create two distinct varieties: pasta secca and pasta al uovo.
Grööner Hein (Birnen, Bohnen, Speck)
In rural Germany, a hearty and flavorful dish called Grööner Hein is a beloved tradition. Known as Birnen, Bohnen, und Speck in Northern Germany, this unique culinary delight is often served at rustic weddings, bringing families together to savor the rich flavors of pears, potatoes, crispy bacon, and tender green beans.
Grüne Soße
In Germany, ‘Grüne Soße’ literally translates to ‘green sauce’, but its significance goes beyond its name. This beloved condiment is an integral part of special occasions like Polterabends or Paubes, where it’s often paired with grilled meats for a match made in heaven. The Grüne Soße itself is a flavorful blend of rich herbs that add depth and complexity to any dish.
Spitzwecken
In Germany, the traditional wedding cake is a magnificent sight to behold. Measuring an impressive ten feet long, this showstopper is often borne into the reception area by a procession of enthusiastic wedding guests – typically numbering around 10 to 12 people. As they carry the cake on a wooden platter, it’s not uncommon for the bearers to engage in a playful ritual where they pretend the cake won’t fit through the doorway while dancing and sipping beer.
German Customs After Weddings
The Jubilation (After Party)
When it comes to weddings in Germany, get ready for an unforgettable celebration that can easily extend into the wee hours. The country’s rich cultural heritage and love of revelry mean that wedding festivities often run late into the night, with some events lasting well past midnight. So, if you’re attending a German wedding or planning one yourself, be prepared to let loose and enjoy the merriment until the morning light.
Carrying the Bride Over the Threshold
As newlyweds return from their wedding ceremonies, a time-honored tradition often unfolds – the husband ceremoniously carries his bride into their chosen abode or hotel suite, marking the beginning of their life together. This practice, rooted in ancient customs, has been perpetuated by popular culture, with on-screen depictions showcasing its significance. Interestingly, the origin of this gesture dates back to a time when people believed it would ward off malevolent entities and evil spirits.
Gifts
In Germany, gift registries for couples are relatively uncommon compared to other Western countries. This might make gift-giving a bit more challenging, but it’s perfectly acceptable for guests to present the newlyweds with cash to kickstart their married life. When in doubt, honesty is always the best policy.As the celebration unfolds, gifts are typically exchanged during the wedding reception. Alternatively, if some guests can’t attend the reception, they might leave their presents with the happy couple at the end of the ceremony. A designated gift table (Geschenketisch) usually sets up in the vicinity of the reception area, where guests can discreetly deposit their gifts for the bride and groom.When it comes to offering thoughtful gifts, the most meaningful ones are often those that come from the heart. If the bride mentions taking a trip, consider gifting her something travel-related; on the other hand, if the groom expresses a desire to purchase a house, a cash gift is always appreciated.